When "Good" is Good Enough

A programmer's practical guide to perfectionism

or, "Cultivating a Culture of Compassion"

 

by Derek DeRaps

aka Hawkeye Tenderwolf

Senior Architect at Kalamuna

Brené Brown is the source of 90% of the following material

Perfectionism as armour against:

Shame ("I'm a fuck-up"), Judgement, Ridicule, and Criticism

The "S" Word:

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging

Shame:
  I am wrong
Guilt:
  I did something wrong

Shame is highly correlated with addiction, depression, eating disorders, violence, bullying and aggression.

 

Guilt? Inversely correlated with those.

Hustling for worth

Procrastination


We procrastinate to avoid shame.

"If I don't do it perfectly I'll experience some vulnerability, shame and loss. I'll feel like a failure." 

Enlightenment is not the goal

How do I allow myself to make mistakes and experience criticism?
How do I develop self-compassion?

Vulnerability is uncomfortable

foreach (array_filter($args, 'is_array') as $key => $data) {
  foreach ($data as $i => $value) {
    ...

Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are

Authenticity

Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives

Resources
http://dublin.tenderwolf.io
 

Challenge: Cultivate two (2!) seconds of pause before sending that email or posting that JIRA comment

Extra Credit: Practice a grounding exercise, listen to a meditation by Chris Germer

Resources